There are over 100 well known dead baby jokes out there. Every single one is disgusting, violent, tasteless, offensive and (for some people) utterly hilarious. Those who don't find dead baby jokes funny are often disgusted and perplexed as to why anyone would find them funny.

This Christmas disaster started earlier in the week after Santa Claus went out of the North Pole in the dead of night. This was done in a bid to save himself from US forces that were amassing along the boarder of the pole. They were getting ready to storm the North Pole and take over operations. It seems Santa had a cookie problem that not only caused him health problems, but put the First Bank of the North Pole into insolvency. Money was taken from a bail out package the Obama administration had loaned Santa. This was not a large sum, $3,782.13, but Santa just couldn't come up with the cash. When Santa realized he would not be able to pay back the money in full and on time, the stress was too much and he skipped town.

It is now known that Santa Claus was in a Caribbean island rehabilitation center receiving help for his food issues. Doctors worked around the clock to help Santa with his dietary regimen. Santa was put on a diet of carrot sticks and celery juice. This seemed to do the trick. Santa can now have cookies and milk, just in moderation and low-fat is better. Santa said, with a wink, he will stick to this diet as best as he can.

It has also taken a monetary toll on the North Pole finances. One elf, on condition of not being named, said that Santa was spending close to $50 dollars a day on cookies and milk. Over time this put the budget at the North Pole bank into a major deficit. President Obama made a secret deal to bail out Santa and his elfs with money taken from the bailout package. It is reported in return Santa would give the President's children extra presents on Christmas. Santa was supposed to have this money paid back before December First and could not. The high blood pressure and diabetes combined with the stress of not being able to pay the government back on time is thought to be what caused this massive case of angina.

It is also thought that the president may have been getting ready to send federal agents into the Christmas compound to arrest Santa Claus. The SCEP, also thought to be Santa Claus's Elfin Police, on a tip got Santa out in the nick of time. It is believed that Santa is safe in a rehabilitation clinic in the Cayman Islands. The elfs say the North Pole is it's separate country and if the US government wants to arrest Santa they should go through NATO or UN channels.

It is now known that Santa is getting help for his "cookie Problem" and his health is improving. What is not known is if Santa can come up with the funds to pay back his bailout package or if President Obama will forgive his debt. Something must happen quick in order for Santa to deliver the presents on time.